Saturday 2 November 2013

Photography: The Princess Valium Bride


When we were shooting a lot of weddings.. (56 in 1990.. and we were in Europe for 5 weeks that year) we used to often work with other wedding professionals, like videographers.

So.. back in 1991we had this Ethnic Wedding to shoot. We used to do a lot of those until I pulled the pin for security reasons. (That’s another story)
Anyhow….. the bride was getting dressed at this luxury house on the Gold Coast hinterland and they were getting married at XXXXX Catholic Church in  XXXXX

Now I had never met this couple….. anyhow I hitched a ride to the coast with the videographer and we chatted away until we arrived at this incredible house with views out over the coast.

WOW! This is how the other half lives.

Knocked on the door and we were led into this lounge room with the most amazing view…. no sign of the bride.

They offered us coffee and cake…. even gave me the morning’s paper to read.

After a bit I looked at my watch.. time is moving on… the videographer asks how close the bride is to being ready?

Er well… we have a problem here you see.
The Mighty 6008 Professional... what a  camera !
She was very nervous so we took her to the doctor.

He gave her 2 valium tablets and told her to take a 1/2 tablet when she got home and perhaps another 1/2 when she arrived at the church.
Not good enough thinks the bride….. she swallows both tablets with a glass of Scotch!

Just then a bedroom door opens and out comes this bird in a pair of shorts and T shirt and she is off her face. I don’t think she could even tell you her own name.

This guys….. was the bride!

So.. no photos here.. they start pouring coffee into her… we leave and head back to Brisbane.

Now we had to go and photograph the guys.

The groom says to me.. “How was she.. Nervous?”

And I say.. “No mate.. Not a bit nervous.. never seen a bride as calm as her”

Fast forward to the church….

Groom is waiting at the alter with the guys and in comes the 2 bridesmaids….

Followed by dad dragging the bride up the aisle.

He sort of hangs her on the grooms arm and bolts!

I am really close to this couple as I have to get the money shots of exchanging rings etc.

I hear the groom say to her… “Are you pissed?”

She mumbles something incoherently.

He looks at me and I shrug my shoulders.

They struggle on through the ceremony with her falling asleep as they sign the register.

Outside the church….. family photos are postponed until later and I accompany the bridal party to a riverside location for photos.

This was a hard one….. she couldn’t stand up!

So.. I lay her down, propped up on one elbow and mixed and matched the various people around her.

Back to the XXXX for the reception.

No family photos!

She manages to make it for the set up cake shots…. then goes up to her room.

And never comes back.

Was totally absent for the entire wedding breakfast.

I often wonder if they are still together!